May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i love accidental penises.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
