there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize