I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize