for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Come see our sink grown plant.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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