Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize