I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
