i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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