Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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