Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
