I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
