how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
