No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
