Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
