Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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