Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
