I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
