I am spending my child support on dildos
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
