Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
