adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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