We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
