This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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