Pappa wants mamma naked
I hope mine doesn't look like that
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
