What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
