he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
