She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
