She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize