I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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