She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
