My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
