we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
