Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
