...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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