We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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