I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
