it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
