You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
