it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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