Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
