I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize