my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
