don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
