i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
