it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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