Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
