Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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