I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
