all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
