I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
