so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
