Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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