i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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