Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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