I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
