she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
