Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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