why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
