office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
