Buhtt sex?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
