So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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