I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
