I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize