We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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