Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
3pm strippers are depressing
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
